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Olee	Dec-05-09, 09:19 AM (CMT)
"Topamax/Spouse"
I am prescribed Topamax for my migraines and was just increased from 100mg per day to 150 per day (1am,1 at lunch, 1 pm). As any of you know Topamax can make you wander at times but it does curve my migraines to a degree, especially the new dosage over the past two days. My experience with my wife, over the past 4 years of using this drug, has sometimes resulted in arguments due to the side affects. I realize that sometimes I'm spacey, but there are times when I'm just tired from a long day of work or irritated from a bad day, but it's always blamed on the "migraine drugs." I can't experience any negative human emotion without it being a direct cause of the prescription according to my wife. She says it changes my behavior and notices a drastic difference when I haven't taken it as opposed to when I'm on regular doses. I don't disagree with that observation, but I doubt it's that drastic. The moment I mention "just not taking it anymore if it bothers you that much", I get a "well that's crazy, you'll suffer from severe migraines, if it helps you then take it honey." My wife has supported me through this ordeal so many times, not to mention through times even worse, but the whole medication aspect is something that is a problem. I'm just wondering if any of you have the same experience with spouses who are somewhat passive aggressive when it comes to your migraine medications.
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RE: Topamax/Spouse, tecky, Dec-05-09, (1) RE: Topamax/Spouse, estre004, Dec-08-09, (2) RE: Topamax/Spouse, estre004, Dec-09-09, (5) RE: Topamax/Spouse, almostangela, Dec-08-09, (3) RE: Topamax/Spouse, Jana, Dec-08-09, (4) RE: Topamax/Spouse, estre004, Dec-09-09, (6) RE: Topamax/Spouse, Jana, Dec-09-09, (7) RE: Topamax/Spouse, Norma, Dec-10-09, (8)

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Messages in this topic

tecky	Dec-05-09, 12:10 PM (CMT)
1. "RE: Topamax/Spouse"
Olee, I was on Topomax for about 6 mos. (didn't really help with the migraines), but I don't know if the side-effects really caused problems with my spouse. In my case, it's more of the migraines themselves and all the symptoms that go with them that cause problems with my spouse. Migraines and painful neck, shoulders and upper back as well as insomnia definitely make me more irritable, forgetful, and make my emotions go up and down like a roller coaster. Sometimes I wonder why my husband continues to put up with me. Sorry, I'm not much help to you, but thought I'd share my experience. Hang in there, hopefully there will be something out there someday that will help us and not have all the side-effects. Becky
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	estre004	Dec-08-09, 08:17 AM (CMT)
	2. "RE: Topamax/Spouse"
	When I was on Topamax, I definitely got irritable and it was noticed by my significant other. He didn't even know I was on the drug but wondered why I was acting strange. To me, I wasn't acting strange, so your wife may be seeing things you don't notice yourself. I didn't realize the effect it was having on me emotionally until I was off of it and (whew!) back to normal again.
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	estre004	Dec-09-09, 08:22 AM (CMT)
	5. "RE: Topamax/Spouse"
	I disagree about "blaming the mood changes on Topamax". After I quit the drug, I was back to being my old pleasant self again. It wasn't that ordinary things that can be irritating but let go were let out while on Topamax. It was that I lashed out about things that weren't even bothersome period. It was bizarre behavior. Not a drug for me. I was even asked, "what is wrong with you?" That is pretty scary when you have no idea why they are asking you that. The drug would have to decrease my migraines by 80-90% before it would be worth it to me. Anything that alters your mind like that isn't any different than messing around with street drugs. For people that have constant migraines and it helps them, I can understand. I would rather be bizarre and loopy than in pain. If it is of only minor help, I would think twice about it. I know people say that after taking it for awhile the side effects lesson, but I still wonder what effect it has on the brain. It hasn't been around that long. Sorry, this drug is just a sore spot to me.
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almostangela	Dec-08-09, 09:07 AM (CMT)
3. "RE: Topamax/Spouse"
Yep. The Topamax side effect of dopey wore off after a few months. I 'think' for a living so I couldn't have stayed on it, if it would have effected me long term. However, I have gotten the debate with my spouse about the drugs effecting my mood. Once I dished it back that that is the way I am and I can't help it and that this always passes quickly enough. Then I asked if he brought it up to purposely hurt me, and he never brought it up again. All I can suggest is that if the same scenerio isn't bringing results, then flip the coin, and discuss it in a new light. You can also draw the line for her. She can mention that you grouchy (in order to shield herself from you), but she can't blame it on the drugs or your migraine. That would be a compromise. Keep talking. Angela
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Jana	Dec-08-09, 02:14 PM (CMT)
4. "RE: Topamax/Spouse"
Isn't human behavior fun! It's easier to blame things on something you can understand, something that you can hate. We all need an outlet, your wife has chosen Topamax. Poor Topamax, it really does get a bad rep, doesn't it? I too doubt that the side effects are the sole cause of all your mood changes, but I do understand why your wife blames your mood changes on it. Many women blame their menstrual cycle for mood changes, but the fact is a lot of these mood changes are simply a reaction to the day that they've had. Many men blame any mood change in a woman on the same thing, throwing out the hormonal comments to begin any argument. I can't offer you any advice. I'd suggest telling her exactly what you said here, but I assume you've already done that. I had wild mood swings the first couple of weeks on Topamax. I am bipolar, so this was very scary. I broke a lot of things in the house and while I do have a temper, I hadn't broken anything for many, many years. It's taken a lot of hard work, but I have been able to control my mood swings pretty well without medication. Not so much the mood changes, but the way I deal with them. Anyway, after a couple of weeks, the mood swings stopped, Topamax actually stabalized me and helped tremendously with the migraines. I had many side effects, some of them constant, but all worth it. For months my husband would blame any mood change on Topamax. I thought that was a little silly considering the many mood changes I had before the Topamax. He knew he was being silly about it, but it really is so much easier to lash out at something real.
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	estre004	Dec-09-09, 08:27 AM (CMT)
	6. "RE: Topamax/Spouse"
	BTW, my second post up there was in response to Jana's reply. It shows up out of place.
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	Jana	Dec-09-09, 02:22 PM (CMT)
	7. "RE: Topamax/Spouse"
	Oh, I certainly understand that Topamax changes the moods of so many people, but that's not what my point is. I am bipolar. There was a time when it was really, really bad. This is what I was like before I had even heard of Topamax. We all know that mood swings are part of migraines. It comes with the territory. I get this crazy high right before most of my menstrual migraines where I clean the house nonstop. It's been like that for years. When I'm in pain, and it's a really bad one, I get very angry. I'm in tears, sobbing, yelling, screaming for someone to kill me, trying to knock myself out just to get some relief. This is not the fault of Topamax. This is because I'm in pain. As soon as I went on Topamax, these mood changes were all of a sudden blamed on the drug. There was no reason for them to be. These were mood changes that were mostly just because of migraines or the kind of day I had. If I'd had a bad day and just wanted to crawl into bed, I would get comments about how the Topamax was making me into a different person. My husband knows they were silly comments and if you ask him today, he'd tell you that. It did make me a different person. I haven't had nearly as many rapid cycling episodes (changing between depression and mania) since I started it. I've been off for about a year and while my migraines returned, my brain is clearer than it was before the Topamax. Not everything has to do with the medications we're on, or whether we have a migraine. People without any health problems can blame a bad mood on a bad day. We can't. You're right that it hasn't been around that long, but 30 years is still a lot longer than most of the medications we put into our bodies. I don't post often, but I read all the time here, and I know this drug was hell for you. It wasn't for me. Propranolol was my hell drug. Hardly a medication that strikes fear in the hearts of most people, it scares me.
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	Norma	Dec-10-09, 07:58 AM (CMT)
	8. "RE: Topamax/Spouse"
	I actually became pretty hostile on topamax. I was also emotional in general, and cried easily. All of those were very out of character for me. I was not able to see clearly ow much it had affected me until later, when I was clear headed again. But it did not help me much either, so it was not such a difficult decision in my case.
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