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heavyhead	Apr-12-02, 03:59 PM (CMT)
"Please help..so much pain i want to die"
I cannot stay long but i need your help i dont know what is wrong i am hurting so bad. I wake EVERY night....every night becaue i hurt!! I have gotten no sleep for 2 weeks, have gotten u at 3:30-4:00am the past several days cause of the pain I am going crazy i am sleep depreived and tired of it all My appointment isnt till the middle of th week. I am almost out of escape meds my methadone is doing nothing at all!! All my joints hurt like nothin i have ever felt before. I cant get it to go away. I am stiff and cannot get up or sit down ror walk. I am in constant pain even when dong nothing I cannot live much longer feelling this way. I know that sounds dramatic but it is the gods honest truth. It husrts way to bad!! What is causing this? I dont se water retention...could it still be that even though i dont seen any. took diurectics today but feel no better Could it be the methadone???I never had joint pain before this med...thought maybe because it was muffled by all the ohter bodily & head pain i used to have. Maybe my joints alwasy hurt i just didnt notice???? COuld pain be caused by the methadone though?? Maybe cause of my fall and broken akle?? Maybe i hurt myself al over but didnt notice at the time? It wasnt a huge fall though 2-3steps. WHAT DO I DO!?!? Please help me!! I am afradi my doctor wont know either or wont take me seriously. I cannot go to the hospital though i hurt bad enogh to Any advise for me? hh
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RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., hpilgrim, Apr-12-02, (1) Pain, schaea, Apr-12-02, (2) Please help so much pain I want to ..., allecia, Apr-12-02, (3) RE: Please help so much pain I want..., painfullintx, Apr-12-02, (4) RE: Please help so much pain I want..., Linden, Apr-12-02, (5) RE: Please help so much pain I want..., Richard, Apr-12-02, (6) RE: Please help so much pain I want..., cherieo, Apr-12-02, (7) RE: Please help so much pain I want..., Steve B , Apr-12-02, (8) RE: Please help so much pain I want..., MA, Apr-13-02, (9) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., 30yrsofheadache, Apr-13-02, (10) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., heavyhead, Apr-13-02, (11) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., painfullintx, Apr-13-02, (12) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., leebones, Apr-15-02, (17) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., candleshoe, Apr-13-02, (13) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., zuzu, Apr-13-02, (14) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., basketcase, Apr-14-02, (15) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., heavyhead, Apr-14-02, (16) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., allecia, Apr-15-02, (18) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., tmensink, Apr-16-02, (19) RE: Please help..so much pain i wan..., heavyhead, Apr-16-02, (20)

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hpilgrim	Apr-12-02, 04:18 PM (CMT)
1. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
Dear HH, I am so sorry! I don't know what to tell you, I am horrified that you are hurting so bad.... It is quite possible the fall you took is making you very sore all over, but I don't know if it would cause joint pain like you describe. I have no experience with methadone - could this be withdrawal symptoms?? Have you cut back on it, or run out of it? It's my feeling that you need to tell your doctor exactly what you've told us... or get another doctor, if you don't have any faith in the one you have, and tell HIM all this. Every desperate feeling.... they need to know exactly what's going on with you. You are probably like me, you don't want to look weird in the doctor's eyes, and you try to keep quiet and keep one shred of dignity - but it's time to lay it all on the line. The desperation and fear in your "voice" just breaks my heart. Sometimes, to get help, you have to stand up and "yell", so to speak... Oh HH, I wish I could do more, you have been through so much. You're in my prayers, dear--and please, keep posting, ( I worry !!) Love and blessings, Holly
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schaea	Apr-12-02, 04:27 PM (CMT)
2. "Pain"
Hi hh, First off, PLEASE don't do anything drastic. Remember, NOTHING is worth dying for, even pain. I went through something similar to your situation many months ago, and I have found a few strategies that seem to help. 1. Find something to live for. The pain has tipped the "life scale" a little too far, so find something to keep the balance. For example, I made a point of going for a walk every night (might sound stupid, but for me it's great) and treating myself to some "alone" time everynight. For you, it might be a hobby of some sort, or setting aside 30 min every night to play with your kids (forgive me, but I'm not 100% sure if you have any or not) or spend with your spouse. Something that makes you say "hey, why would I ever want to die?" 2. When all else fails, try some anti-depressants. At first I said "I'm not depressed, I just want to die!" But that, my friend, is a part of depression. They can take a little while to work but can really get you back on track. Most of all, just don't give up! Don't let the evil pain deamon win! We all love to see you here and would miss you if you were gone. I hope I've helped in some way, remember if you (or anybody) needs somebody to talk to, or vent on, or just want to say hi just email me at schaea@hotmail.com, I'd love to talk Regards, Andrew.
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allecia	Apr-12-02, 04:40 PM (CMT)
3. "Please help so much pain I want to die..."
heavy head.. I think maybe talking to the doctor on-call when you wake up in the middle of the night in awful pain might be a good option.. going to the hospital may be an option also.. Not sure if you are comfortable with those above options.. but... If you are really in that much pain.. and I don't doubt you sweetie!! There is treatment for you.. Pain means that there is something wrong.. therefore you need to get medical treatment.. if your doctor dosen't help you.. find another.. help is out there.. there has got to be a reason for this kind of pain.. and why you can't sleep and why you feel so bad.. Going to the Er is an option when you have that kind of breakthrough pain.. and remember don't do anything drastic please.. take one minute at a time.. when you are hurting.. call the doctor's office and tell them you CANNOT wait until your next appt.. be aggressive with them.. tell them you would rather die than to live with your pain.. isn't that what you said in your post?? YOu need to inform you doctor about what is really going on... good luck... and be aggresive and demand help, compassion and relief!!!! and demand an answer to what is really going on... remember that the people you are talking to are not in pain; you are... so speak up... allecia
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	painfullintx	Apr-12-02, 05:30 PM (CMT)
	4. "RE: Please help so much pain I want to die..."
	HH, I have the fogiest idea of all the causes and disconforts from the Fibro. By listening to all of you, I am not sure which is worse any more the migraine or the Fibro. I agree with the other's whole heartedly. TELL YOUR DOCTOR JUST WHAT YOU TOLD US. There is no reason you should be in this much pain. He is not treating you correctly. If he was then you might have a little pain but not this much pain. call like that one person said, when you wake up in the middle of the night call the attending physican and ask him what to do. Have you called your doctors office?? If not call them. Put a fire under someone's asss (sry for lang). Get someone's attention and demand some better treatment. If your doctor wont help you, then ask him to send you to someone who will, cause you are tired of the treatment you are getting from him. One thing to remember though. You have us, your family and we will all be here if you need us. patti west texas
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	Linden	Apr-12-02, 08:08 PM (CMT)
	5. "RE: Please help so much pain I want to die..."
	Sorry you're feeling so badly. If most of the pain is being generated from places outside your migraine, here are three ideas that may help.If the pain is generated from your migraine, these medicationswould just be a tiny drop in the pain bucket and would do nothing. If you are having a lot of pain from your body or ankle because of the fall, you might want to see if you can get a script for a prescription strength version of naproxen sodium, which is similar to Motrin or Advil, it might help. The amount of naproxen sodium I take is 500 mg. twice a day for really bad menstrual cramps or if I've hurt my body (shoulder, ankle, etc.). It's an anti-inflammatory. I have a good friend who badly sprained an ankle last week. Although she had a cast on it,she was still in alot of pain. The naproxen sodium helped her a lot and she was able to sleep. Another thing that might help is something you can get in most health food stores. It's a gel named Arnica and it's supposed to do wonders for body paid. More than a year ago, my teen-age son was involved in a minor car accident. He was hurt when the air bag deployed. It scratched him up pretty badly and he had a lot of muscle soreness. The arnica gel helped him. It alsao helped my 93 year-old neighbor when she fell on a patch of ice and hurt her wrist and hand. She was in considerable pain but she doesn't like to go to doctors. It also helped her a lot. The arnica gel also helped when I was pregnant during a bad snow storm 9 years ago. I fell very hard on my rear (a truly elegant sight), I went to a chiropractor who helped reduce some of the pain. He told me to get some arnica gel and apply it frequently. The next morning when I got up I was amazed that I didn't have any bruises and was hardly hurting at all. Another thing that might help for muscle pain is a muscle relaxer called Flexeril. You have to get it by prescription. My husband use to take it for neck and should pains. For migraines, I take a much stronger muscle relaxer called x. I'm sure that will help too but if you're not used to it, you might sleep for days! Who knows, if any of these products might help you if you're having problems with body pain. If the pain is coming from your migraine, it's useless. Hang in there. From your experience as a migrainer, you know that the pain will eventually go away. It's just tryingto find something to work in the interim. Good luck -- Debbie P.
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	Richard	Apr-12-02, 08:48 PM (CMT)
	6. "RE: Please help so much pain I want to die..."
	Ditto to all the good advice above. Especially Andrew's! Hang In There! Richard
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	cherieo	Apr-12-02, 09:07 PM (CMT)
	7. "RE: Please help so much pain I want to die..."
	So sorry to hear of your horrible pain. From what my Mom has told me I thought Fibro effected the muscle not the joints. (The diff. between it and arthritis). I fell a few years ago on a concert floor in a warehouse where I worked. A few days later my side hurt horribly I went to the docotr who said I pulled several muscles when I fell (again the joints were not affected) I'm like others if you are in this much pain don't wait to call or go see the doctor. Cherie
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	Steve B	Apr-12-02, 09:08 PM (CMT)
	8. "RE: Please help so much pain I want to die..."
	HH- I'm sorry you are in such pain and I wish I could do something for you. I don't believe the dramatic increase in pain level AND the broken bone are just a coincidense. I think they are connected and the ER is the place to go to find out. If you do go to the ER, you might want to sign-in on the triage chart listing your ankle injury, instead of migraine as the reason for the visit. In other words, the migraine is being exacerbated for some reason by the ankle injury. Maybe a bone infection?? Might get better treatment. And make them pay close attention to what you are saying about the pain. REAL close attention. And if they don't listen close enough, start talking about seeing a lawyer and make sure you are overheard. Good luck HH. I wish you a speedy recovery! Steve
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	MA	Apr-13-02, 00:43 AM (CMT)
	9. "RE: Please help so much pain I want to die..."
	Sorry, but I'm not in the shape to wrie much. But I agree with all of the other posts. Don;t let the pain demon win. we are all here to help you fight and we would miss you if you weren't here. Please let us know if there is anything we can do. Wishing you the bliss of painfree moments, Mary Anne
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30yrsofheadache	Apr-13-02, 04:18 AM (CMT)
10. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
HH, You need some help. Things seem to be spiralling out of control. Sometimes an accident can trigger fibro. Have you been tested for all types of autoimmune diseases? My all over body pain that I thought was fibro was caused by an autoimmune disease. I am now fully recovered from that but musgt stay on a special diet forever. Your Dr. must be made to understand that you cant go on like you are. Or, find a new Dr. Hope you get some relief soon, Cindy
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	heavyhead	Apr-13-02, 09:00 AM (CMT)
	11. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
	Saying thank you seems a bit of an understatement. It put me in a much beter place today to read all of your messages and advice. I woke again last nigth at 3:45am. My internal clock must have been resest because this is the same time, alost to the minute, that i have been waking for the past several days. Strange huh!?! I took a hot both last night with some strange herbal concoction for relaxation. It didnt help all taht much woth the pain, but feeling clean made me feel a bit more alive i drank all the water i could muster (it made me bit sick to my stomach) But I figure if i am retaining watr thats the best thing i could do I feel a bit better this morning. As for the joint pain....even though it is centered in the joints the pain in coming more from deep muscle and tendons etc... I think the joints are just strained and the tissue around them is irratated from both the fall & from using crutches That would make sense cause it is all focus around the knees(one has been bent for 2 weeks holding my ankle up, the other taking all of my weight) my hands (grasping the crutces also taking the bulk of my weight) and my shoulders & elbows (again the crutches were right under my arms..) Knowing the possible cause makes me less nervous but doesnt help the pain (neither does my hysband who keeps saying i must need to exercise more AHHHHH!) I will call the doctor who saw me for my ankle today. Maybe i can go in and have it looked at. Thank you for the replies. I think i am going to try to go back to sleep now....still so tired hh
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	painfullintx	Apr-13-02, 10:05 AM (CMT)
	12. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
	I was going to ask you yesterday if since this had happened if you had been sitting more than usual. I know here last week when I was migraining real bad I did not hardly move from my chair for 3 days other than to go to the bathroom or come on here. And after those 3 days my body felt horriable, my knees ached and my back, it was just from lack of movement. I know that yours is much more worse than mine could even begin to be. But your body and muscles might just be getting sore from I hate to say it, lack of movement. I am not saying go out and run a marathon by any mreans. I mean I normally put around the house quiet a bit. and those 3 days in my chair made me stiffen up. Just a thought though. Just remember we are always here for you any time night or day. you should of came onhere last night I was on just staring at the screen. I do that alot when I cant sleep. Hope you get to feeling better soon. patti west texas please dont take my post as an offense, okay. I dont want to sound like your husband or anyone else that says more excersise. I was just saying what happened to me is all, and that it could be the same with you/ your body is not used to being so still is all. I hope this is making sense and not making you upset. if you cant tell I am migraining and not making much sense to myself. lol I know what I want to say, it just aint coming out right.
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	leebones	Apr-15-02, 00:32 AM (CMT)
	17. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
	I just had to comment on the husband and exercise more. Mine drives me nuts with that. Annoying considering he does not exercise at all ever. Anyways hope your feeling better today. wendy
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candleshoe	Apr-13-02, 12:26 PM (CMT)
13. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
Dear sweet HH, DRINK WATER AND LOTS OF IT. . It sounds like your body may be in a state of severe dehydration. It certainly won't hurt you. And yes I hate to say it but it does need to be PLAIN water. If you don't like water try adding a little lemon...fresh... this cleans out toxins in the colon which can also cause your symptoms. I can't remember the name of the book,but I found this books contents to be very helpful. Its an book about water. I do find that drinking the water helps me alot when I start the hurting all over thing.... the lemon jouice starts cleaning the colon right away... and with all the meds we take this is a good thing, cause our meds cause our colon to slow way down. Also if you are brave enough,..... warm lemon juice (1 lemon to a gallon of water, ) enemas are really good too. if you have more questions e-mail me at: beaty@fone.net . it really does help. A LOT . CAndleshoe (kim)
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	zuzu	Apr-13-02, 03:15 PM (CMT)
	14. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
	hh, I know how you feel and I do mean that!!! I have those same types of pain and hopefully when I go to the specialist next month he will be able to help me if not I will go insane because just knowing I have an appt is what is keeping me going!!! Fibro is just ugly and I too have joint pain do you take Zanaflex?? The reason I ask is I use to take it and first it was sooooo sedating and second it made my joints hurt soooo bad that is the reason I quit taking them. I mean the pain in the joints were so bad I couldn't sit still!!! I don't have any answers for you but just kknow I am here and if you need to email me here is my addy zuzu42420@peoplepc.com Kim
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basketcase	Apr-14-02, 08:53 AM (CMT)
15. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
HH- waking everynight at the same time with a headache or only the body aches? if you're waking with a headache, you may be having clusters. thats one of their signatures-waking same time every night. have you ever taken steroids? perhaps a round would help break up that up though i don't know how it would affect fibro. if they use it for fibro, that may be just the thing. i've heard a number of people report success with a round of steroids do you have a rheumy? breaking your ankle could cause a flare-up like that. which doctor are you talking to? i think theres a theory that fibro is a central nervous system disorder that is responding to peripheral pain (broken ankle for instance). so for instance, broken ankle tells your brain "ouch". then your brain says to body, "theres an ouch". so the whole body is stimulated. i think theres a theory similar to that about migraines. that the brain stem sends out inappropriate pain stimuli and boom! migraine. thought it was interesting i forget where you said you are(doesn't matter) but theres a pain specialist in fayetteville who also specializes in fibro. once you get through this, maybe you should call his office. he has a website too. if you'd like the url, let me know. good luck.
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	heavyhead	Apr-14-02, 01:12 PM (CMT)
	16. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
	Zuzu...I will email you. EVen though i hate to think you are having the kind of pain i am, it does make me feel a bit less nervous that my symptoms my not be out of the ordinary....know what i mean. This is CRAZY Zuzu...no one should have to deal with this crap! It is really not fair!!!! Basketcase..i think you were the one that said drink more water? I know I should be and you just brought the message home. I will start NOW. I have been trying today sincei took a diuretic yesterday an hardly peed. Bad sign! I will drink every bit i can....well, uptil the point i feel like barfing that is Patti....i wasnt offended! You are right that this pain is starting a bad cycle of doin less & staying still....the worst thing for fibro! Maybe thats why my nights are so bad lately...my body cant take any more stilness. As for my husband he was kinda talking in general. Like i need to build up muscle strength because my problem is being too week and nothing more. Even though some activity helps....building muscles really wont. He doenst understand that my body just cant handle physical strain....any over exertion makes more pain for me. He thinks if i run or work out, sweat and get bigger muscles my problems will be solved. Duh.... i think he is at a loss and just trying to help...find something to make me better. In other words....denial. I cannot WAIT til my appointment tiesday. Again i woke last night at 3:30. Oh...i forgot who suggested it...but the pain is not from my head, it is only in my body. So clusters can be ruled out. Thanks for the thought htouhg...ah though *lol* I am considering going off the methadone and only taking pian relivers at night and escape meds (shorter lasting) during the day. I think my body is reacting weird to the methadone around my cycle. But it has been SO nice having no migraines..... hh
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	allecia	Apr-15-02, 10:02 PM (CMT)
	18. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
	heavyhead, not sure if you asked your doctor about this again but remember the comment about celebrex?? it may help?? I'd really be interested to see if it would help you and your pain.. fibro and migraines... just one more suggestion.. I know it's a repeat.. allecia
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	tmensink	Apr-16-02, 02:23 AM (CMT)
	19. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
	Hi Everyone, hh sorry if I repeat what someone else has said I can't read a whole lot tonight so i did not get to read all the advice but of course wanted to add my two cents worth. I personally don't think it is the methadone I have been on it over 3 yrs never had that happen at least not from the methadone. I have though had my whole body go into pain mode after a week long migraine which my doctor has told me is because of several reasons, on of which is usually when we arelike that we don't move much and are whole body is tense and of course if you add over tired to it your body will possibly ache unbelieveably. I am not kidding, I was there once and thought i was going to die, but that was the cause. However having said that I think you need to go to the doctor or the ER and tell them exactly what you told us, and don't leave out anything. I know this is not fair but sometimes you need to lay it on the line, and say things like I cannot take it anymore, this is to much etc. SOmetimes this gets them to thinking hey we hve to do something for this lady or we might be responsible for another problem etc. WHo cares what gets there attention as long as they help you, so get going. I had another thought and it might be stupid to say as you may already have this, but do you have fybromalgia?? As that could certainly do this to you. Ever time I take another workshop on it I am amazed at the varying degrees it hits people and to what degrees it stops people from doing things etc. So this could have something to do with it. I also know if you are in withdrawl, you can get this pain, but I guess that is not the case here, but better than guessing YOU GO GIRL AND GET YOURSELF CHECKED OUT, AND NOW!!! I am also going to add I don't know how much methadone you are on, but right now one of the consultations I was having with my treatment team last week they said half the problems they have is most patients coming to them that are being treated for pain are UNDERMEDICATED almost to the point where more damage is done because of it etc. I am guessing you fall into this category, when you get the chance email me and we can talk about doses etc. Also had to add I have been down the road of I can't take it anymore and even went so far to make my plans, dumb dumb dumb everytime I think about it I almost get sick. WHY, because if it were not for the pain of the migraines chances are you would never consider this therefore there is things in your life to live for you just have to get the pain under control, and don't sit there and say yeah but I am suffering right now and its easy to say from where you are you have enough pain meds, WELL girl for close to 20 yrs I have had these wicked things then for about 7yrs I had them 24/7 and I went from doc to doc with NO HELP and half the time I was being labeled one of THOSE women, or a drug addict etc. It has only been 3yrs since I have gotten some help, yes I am still in pain but I get to watch my kids grow, I get to see my family, I get to contribute to society. THats what life is all about. AND YOU LIKE ALL OF US DESERVE THAT, NOW GO OUT AND DEMAND IT YOU ARE WORTH IT. you here me. Sorry for being a little rough, but I know I needed it at times, and I sure don't want to lose you, you are a great person and the world would be lacking if you were not in it. take care and if you want you can email me anytime night or day. Bye ROxy, I WILL talk to you on THursday when I get back from the city, RIGHT. OH, had to add there is a sleeping pill called nozinan it is extremely strong and when I was waking with this pain they gave them to me it at least allowed me some sleep, maybe you could try it. It is not something to use forever, but it can sure be a godsend.
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	heavyhead	Apr-16-02, 08:46 AM (CMT)
	20. "RE: Please help..so much pain i want to die"
	Thank you Roxy, one for the advise and 2 for being tuff and honest with me I was mentally & emotionally prepared to go to my doctor today and basically DEMAND stronger doses of my medications. I am taking 30 mg of methadone. Lately i feel as though i am taking tic tacs!! It is doing nothing!!! I mean I cant imagine being in ANY MORE pain than i am & i am taking pills to prevent it! How would i feel if i were taking nothing?!?! Know what i mean? I literally dont think the pain could get any worse or i would be passing out or having a stroke or heart attack or somethign form it! Because of this, i dont think the methadone isworking at all. this is hard for me to explain so i hope i am making some sort of sense anyway my a$$h@le doctor said i didnt have an appointment this afternoon....see my last straw post. So i have to wait til tomorrow to deal with this Ohh..I DO have fibromyalgia. I have suspected it for over a year, I have felt like i have had it do varing degrees for almost 10 years The doctor i see now "specializes" in it..or so he says. I think he is a drug pusher with a license personally. But again thats a long story Thanks again Roxy! I would love to email you at some point and treade stories and treatments i hope you ar doing well & getting good treatment care and advise at your "pain management camp" I'll see you when you get back hh
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